The Best Comforting is Yourself

I don’t know how to start this writing, my mind is too messy and full. I hate myself when I’m like this, where I feel sad and all I can do is cry. I don’t want to be at this point again, where I’ve lost myself and I’m miserable. It will take a long time for me to rise from this pit of sadness. I see myself really bad when I’m frantic. I can’t even hide the emotions I’m feeling right now. I feel bad if I share my sadness with others, maybe my story can weigh them down and I often find myself unprepared for the feedback. And here I am, throwing the thoughts that were in my head. I sincerely thank the people who are there for me, both in the past and in the present. I’m sorry I couldn’t control my emotional stability, because actually my body was filled with sadness. I hate myself for being like this; pessimistic and quitter. Stop telling me this and that. Stop suing me because I’ve been stressed since last year. Please stop demanding towards me. Actually I already know what I have to do, even though there are still many shortcomings. I find myself getting overwhelmed easily, which is why I only talk to one or two people on daily basis. I think so much about possibilities and impossibilities that may not necessarily happen, about my anxieties, my worries, my limitations, my abilities, and so on. Currently I’m falling to the hole where full of questions, "can I do it in a very short time?". But after all, the best comforting is yourself, because only you know how you want to be comforted. Today may be a tough day, but one day I will be proud of myself for going through it.